I Don’t Have Grey Hair Down There

Sophie: Do your eyebrows go grey, too?
Me: Yes, and so do your pubic hair.
MIL: Yeah, but you can just shave that, it’s the style.

My daughter Sophie is 15 and even though it might be a little traumatic to hear the facts of life delivered from her mother and grandmother instead of Twitter, it’s important she knows what to expect.  

Chances are, you don’t make it to close to 40 without dabbling in a little hair color. If you are one of those lucky women who don’t have grey hair in your genetics, I secretly hate you a little. I have been coloring my hair for a very long time. Unfortunately I don’t remember when it crossed the line from recreational to essential. The last time I went to my hairdresser, I was told my hair was getting more coarse. This was code for “you’re overrun with grey, I need to charge you more.”

Truth be told, it’s not the hair on my head that is so traumatizing. It’s totally the hair down there. Unlike my child, it never crossed my mind hair would grey on other parts of my body until I actually discovered one. Even though my own husband’s thick mound of chest hair could rival Santa Clause himself, I didn’t see greying body hair as something applicable to me. 

After going through the 7 phases of grief and accepting my fate, I realized my options were limited.

Grey Pubic Hair Solutions

Remove it. Like my mother in law advises, you can always just get rid of it. My hairdresser warned me years ago to never pluck grey hairs on my head because eventually it all turns grey. When it comes to the downtown area, it’s really not an issue. Unless, of course, 70’s bush comes back into fashion. In any case, I’d suggest a merkin that isn’t grey.

Color it. There are dyes specifically formulated for pubic hair. I’d recommend following directions and being really careful when you are are next to your tender vittles, but I have confidence it won’t turn out worse than my Sun-In experiment of 1989.


Live with it. A lot of women go grey gracefully, upstairs and downstairs. 

I am not one of them. 

Category: 40 Doesn't Bite

{ 6 comments… add one }

  • Jennifer ,

    I haven’t colored my hair (on my head) since I cut it all off, and I was surprised the other day when the hair stylist told me I have very little grey. Both my mom and dad were grey prematurely, and my mom (at 59) is almost completely silver. I don’t know if I’ll get it all at once or if I’ve escaped that gene. I’m pretty sure my younger brother at 34 has more grey than I do at 41.
    Jennifer recently posted…Growing Old TogetherMy Profile

  • Kristin

    I’ve spent a lot of time and money colouring my hair, I just don’t care that much anymore. I don’t think. I’m reserving the right to change my mind.
    Kristin recently posted…Feel Good Friday: The Pool EditionMy Profile

  • Poppy ,

    Yours must not be as grey as mine!
    Poppy recently posted…Preventing Mutant Running BlistersMy Profile

  • Nadine ,

    I am a 70’s girl so I am not a fan of shaving my “Tender Vittles area” and what if all that hair is covering up the wrinkles that could be under there?

  • Poppy ,

    Tender Vittles? Ha, love it. You won the book contest by the way. I’ll get it to you as soon as I get it.

  • sparkling74 ,

    Ha ha, I thought your new blog was all about the seriousness of fitness and health and then I found this page. Thank God. You still crack me up! I don’t color my head hair, so I suppose no other hair will get colored either. It’s not that I don’t have gray, I just don’t care, I guess. I don’t wear makeup or paint my nails and I don’t go to the salon for a cut very often, so dying it just isn’t in the cards.
    sparkling74 recently posted…Life Is A Highway….My Profile


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